I still don't understand why, but...thank you. After watching Courfeyrac and Combeferre-- [There's a soundless choke here; almost two centuries later, the memories of his friends perishing in front of his eyes, through his own leadership, cuts deep. ] ...I thought I was the last. I was supposed to be, anyway. I'm sorry I led you to that end, but I can't thank you enough for those last moments.
[ Enjolras looks stricken and a little embarrassed at the claim, shaking his head. ]
I didn't detest you, Grantaire. I won't lie, I was definitely frustrated with you back then: I didn't understand why you stayed all that time, what your motivations were in a group whose cause you didn't seem to care for, but...I think I simply didn't understand you then. I'm not even sure I fully do now, but...I'm getting there. But I promise I have never detested you.
[ Enjolras feels embarrassingly exposed, unused to talking about his feelings at length (it was always Courfeyrac's strength, and wouldn't he just laugh at him, stumbling over himself throughout this). He can feel the heat creep to the tips of his ears and back of his neck. ]
no subject
[ There's a meaningful look there. ]
I still don't understand why, but...thank you. After watching Courfeyrac and Combeferre-- [There's a soundless choke here; almost two centuries later, the memories of his friends perishing in front of his eyes, through his own leadership, cuts deep. ] ...I thought I was the last. I was supposed to be, anyway. I'm sorry I led you to that end, but I can't thank you enough for those last moments.
[ Enjolras looks stricken and a little embarrassed at the claim, shaking his head. ]
I didn't detest you, Grantaire. I won't lie, I was definitely frustrated with you back then: I didn't understand why you stayed all that time, what your motivations were in a group whose cause you didn't seem to care for, but...I think I simply didn't understand you then. I'm not even sure I fully do now, but...I'm getting there. But I promise I have never detested you.
[ Enjolras feels embarrassingly exposed, unused to talking about his feelings at length (it was always Courfeyrac's strength, and wouldn't he just laugh at him, stumbling over himself throughout this). He can feel the heat creep to the tips of his ears and back of his neck. ]
Of course I came back, why wouldn't I?