the realistic college au meme

[satirically]

the realistic college au meme
comment with your character's name and canon in the subject header. use rng or pick one of the options below for your au scenario. tag around!

1. living conditions
a. my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
b. all our friends are drunk
c. we live in halls opposite one another and i keep seeing you change in the window please close your blinds
d. you’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs
e. you’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry
f. clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party
g. you peed on my car. you were drunk. I was in the car. there will be hell to pay.
h. my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
i. sorry my roommate puked on your shoes
j. my roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire

2. chance meeting
a. it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here
b. waiting outside for pizza to be delivered but both of ours is super late
c. I know I keep coming to this [cookie/coffee/etc.] shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need this for my sanity
d. I found your USB drive still in the computer (and potentially regret finding out what's on it)
e. you decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf
f. your school mailbox is right next to mine
g. what do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?

3. campus community
a. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
b. it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost
c. we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for
d. humans vs zombies, all bets are off, friendships mean nothing
e. I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria
f. we’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
g. what are you doing at this table at the career fair
h. I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall
i. my computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center
j. we’re both on athletic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit
k. you’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance

4. credit hour woes
a. hey I have to [photograph/draw blood/film/insert major here] someone for class, will you be my guinea pig
b. we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful
c. group project
d. both of us turned up to the wrong room for this lecture and neither of us know where it's supposed to be
e. we’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class
f. wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?
g. waiting for office hours
h. we started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop
i. vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room

5. limited resources
a. you keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class
b. you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole
c. you're the only person in the room when i break the printer and i'm panicking (so don't be a dick about it please)
d. neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building
e. this awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals
f. you keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows
g. I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today
h. you’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline
i. we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill
j. can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash

original meme by kinetic

Comments

Cosette Fauchelevent | Les Miserables | OTA

[impetueux]

[epiny]

[You know who is the worst roommate in the world?

Your roommate. Your roommate, Cosette, is the worst. Period. She's playing loud music, she's drunk and puking in your shoes, she's drunk and borrowing your clothes and ruining them, she's smoking out of the window, and that's the second guy she's brought home this week and is it just you or does he look like he just got out of prison?

But someone can't afford a single (she can't afford college) and someone doesn't have anyone else willing to live with her, or any other rooms open. So you're stuck with Eponine Thenardier as a roommate.

And she never gives you and your boyfriend one second of alone time.]

Heeeeey, Lark? [Eponine is actually pretending to do homework on top of her lofted bed. Her side of the bedroom is a mess, and sparse. But it's undeniably Eponine.] Since I know you got miffed last time- I got 'Parnasse coming over in an hour, you're gonna need to vacate.

oh ep never change

[impetueux]

[Every person has their breaking point; it's an undeniable part of nature, that no matter the breathing exercises, and the mental excuses, and RA counseling, everyone will eventually snap at their assigned roommate at one point or another.

With this in mind, it is highly possible that Cosette is not fully human.

Oh, she can seethe, definitely, the picture of quiet fury, but she always holds back from that edge. A Catholic upbringing and the knowledge of the dirty details on your roommate's damage will do wonders for your self-restraint.]

Oh I didn't realize you two were still together. [She's going to pretend Montparnasse was the same man she saw earlier this week.] Please keep it to your bed at least? And how long do you need me out?

Elizabeth (Liz) Bennet | Pride and Prejudice | OTA

[prejudging]

[sensibles]

Lizzy...

[ Mary is still in high school. She's come over for a visit, mostly because mother wanted to get this one out of the house and out of her hair while she fussed over Lydia and Kitty, mostly Lydia. Probably for the best. There is only so much shrillness she can take in one evening. Even if she isn't father's favorite, she certainly shares some qualities with him.

They're at a dorm party. Liz had been wrangled to attend and Mary tagged along without protest, mostly keen to play games on her phone and not play beer pong. She had learned the hard way that most people don't want to be entertained her at parties. And besides, this isn't exactly a fancy town function. It's crass and it's smelly and she doesn't like sitting on the edge of someone's bed. The suite is a mess, messier than their house on its bad days, and she can't seem to find a simple can of soda.

Mary doesn't ask for much. Sure, she spends most of her time saying trite things in an attempt to sound intelligent, but she's learning. Slowly.

She doesn't ask what she really wants to ask when she finally gets the words out. ]

D'you know where the outlet is?

[prejudging]

[Liz kind of outgrew dorm parties shortly after freshman year, but the knowledge that discussions of feminist literature in fair trade coffee houses do not actually make for a riveting Saturday night coupled with a well-meaning Charlotte have landed both her and her younger sister leaning up against as a wall, trying not to touch some of the more questionable surfaces in the room.]

Um, there should be one along the wall here, unless some idiot blocked it. Want to sidle until we find it?

[Mary's awkward in a way Liz never remembers being at that age, but she finds her sensible practicality a huge comfort in comparison to Lydia and Kitty.]

I'm sorry Mary, we really can leave if you want, no pressure. I'd just have to find Charlotte and tell her we're heading out.

Lily Evans | Harry Potter Series | OTA

[doeeyed]

[airshipcaptain]

[Afonso is pretty sure he's been in the library for over 24 hours now. Maybe not a straight 24 hours, but collectively he's certain he's been at the library for 24 hours between the passed few days.

He's also not sure when the last time he slept was.

The only thing he was sure of was the time. It was well passed 3am, going on 4 really, and he still had two papers to finish and a final to cram for. The light at the end of the tunnel kept moving further and further back.]

if I die please don't let ames speak at my funeral.]

[Is he being a little dramatic? Probably, but finals will do that to a person.]

Jane Porter | Disney's Tarzan | OTA

[conversationist]

Eggsy Unwin | Kingsman: The Secret Service | OTA

[untapped]

5G o/

[rearisen]

[ There's an attempt at a polite throat clearing from the pale boy standing by where you've sat down, Eggsy. He shifts his feet a bit, looking awkward but his thick eyebrows are determined. ]

Shaun Hastings | Assassin's Creed | OTA

[turnanotherday]

(PhD Candidate/Lecturer!)

Enjolsas / Les Miserables

[weneedasign]

[Who the heck stole his flag and keeps drawing dicks on his white board?]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK

[habitually]

your flag will be returned when my demands are met.

Naomi Mikano / Original Character

[serenesuccessor]

[Y'know that freshman who is constantly getting lost? This is that freshman.]

I HAD TO

[porpoiseful]

[ Ariel laughs sympathetically at the girl with her nose buried in the pamphlet. Presumably, that would be the map page. She about-faces to turn back around, smiling with worried eyebrows. ]

You look like a fish out of water... Are you new?

Eponine Thenardier | Les Mis

[epiny]

1a. we need a new bestie thread duh. lesbians edition.

[laide]

i'm coming over.

[ there is no please. she doesn't need to offer one. ]

ANNIE CRESTA | The Hunger Games

[anniesgonemad]

Barbara Gordon | Nolan Batman

[battyforbooks]

Jane Potter | Boy Wizard Series

[broomswept]

1H because I'm a horrible person.

[doeeyed]

[Lily has not been having the most stellar semester. She had finally cut the cord with her ex-childhood friend, the one who just conveniently happened to chose the exact university as her post-secondary school, only to snap at her about being friend-zoned for a decade after Anthropology 102, she'd gotten her first ever C on a paper, and her financial aid had only just come through at the last second after being threatened with withdrawal.

So it only seemed par for the course when, after her friends had dragged her to a party to cheer her up, that said ex-friend would have managed to come to the exact same party. The how of this didn't matter as much as finding a way to look as preoccupied as possible since he was coming right her way. Without much of a glance she grabs the first person she can without really looking at who, clearly anxious.]

I'm sorry normally I would never but I need you to make out with me right now before my ex-friend has a chance to ask if I'm here with anyone.

Laura Roslin (young) | Battlestar Galactica

[titanides]

I'm going with quasi-4F

[prejudging]

[Liz has a lot of regrets. Currently, most of those regrets revolve around not reading the blurbs in the course catalog more closely, because maybe if she had she would have noticed that this is not the chemistry intro class for non-science majors before all the other, easy science classes had filled up.

It's going to be a long semester. She turns to her new lab mate, ready to level with her about who exactly she has just been landed with.]

Um, look, I'm going to be honest: I thought this was CHEM 110, not 210. I'm a Business and Women's Studies double-major. I'm going to give it my all, but if you're cruising for an A so you can get your doctorate in six years or something, you might want to ask the professor for a partner switch.

Courfeyrac | Les Mis

[courfeyhot]